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DESPERATE MEASURES - DVD MovieCall it "Desperate Movie," because this ludicrous thriller deteriorates into unintentional comedy. For reasons that are never explained, a sociopathic killer (Michael Keaton) is the only available bone marrow donor for the cancer-stricken son of a San Francisco cop (Andy Garcia), who must capture the killer alive after a laughable escape in a labyrinthine hospital. The ensuing manhunt relies on plentiful plot holes and ridiculous shortcuts (like Keaton's use of a surgical laser to cut leg irons, or accessing hospital schematics from a prison computer). Self-consciously shot in film noir style, the cat-and-mouse routine leads to a briefly impressive car chase, but the premise (which even the movie's original press notes described as "intriguing, if unlikely") is based on "moral ambiguity" that doesn't translate ! from script to screen. Instead of forcing Keaton's typically "sick genius" to prove his ingenuity, the film pits him against a squad of cops who couldn't find a beer in a crowded pub. --Jeff Shannon Deluxe CD/DVD edition of the Alt-Rock band's 2009 release, the follow-up to their Gold-certified Swan Songs release. Desperate Measures includes seven brand new studio recordings plus bonus live tracks. The DVD contains over 60 minutes worth of footage taken from their sold out Hollywood Undead TCB Summer Tour.Note: This is a short story (less than 10,000 words) and not a novella. Customers who enjoy the traditional Regency Romances of Georgette Heyer, Barbara Metzger, and Carla Kelly will enjoy this witty Regency short story by New York Times bestselling author Candice Hern. Lydia Bettridge is a young woman suffering the pangs of unrequited love. To capture the attention of Geoffrey Danforth, the man who has stolen her heart but barely notices her, she has resorted to de! sperate measures with a seemingly clever plan. By engaging the! help of Phillip, a friend of her brother's, to play the love-smitten fool in public, she hopes to pique the interest of her unnamed love. But when Geoffrey himself shows up to take Phillip's place, all her careful planning is turned upside down. What's a girl to do but to make the best of it? This short story was originally published in The Mammoth Book of Regency Romance.Note: This is a short story (less than 10,000 words) and not a novella. Customers who enjoy the traditional Regency Romances of Georgette Heyer, Barbara Metzger, and Carla Kelly will enjoy this witty Regency short story by New York Times bestselling author Candice Hern. Lydia Bettridge is a young woman suffering the pangs of unrequited love. To capture the attention of Geoffrey Danforth, the man who has stolen her heart but barely notices her, she has resorted to desperate measures with a seemingly clever plan. By engaging the help of Phillip, a friend of her brother's, to play the love-smitten fool in public, she! hopes to pique the interest of her unnamed love. But when Geoffrey himself shows up to take Phillip's place, all her careful planning is turned upside down. What's a girl to do but to make the best of it? This short story was originally published in The Mammoth Book of Regency Romance.Presenting a classic domestic discipline fantasy in 5 acts, featuring: a strict stepmom spanking her sassy stepdaughter, a boyfriend eagerly spanking his girlfriend's amorous stepmom, a work weary dad soundly spanking and vigorously strapping his devious daughter, an enlightened husband firmly but lovingly spanking his sexy, wayward wife (with hand and hairbrush) and a patient boyfriend methodically spanking his impolite girlfriend -- in a witty and clever scenario, written by and starring the irrepressible Clare Fonda, introducing the strikingly beautiful Kailee in her first Shadow Lane appearance, co-starring fresh talent from Canada, River Wild, as the affable boyfriend and displaying the excellent abilities of the engaging Danny Chrighton as the dominant dad.
Running time: 45 minutes.